There’s always a little give and take.
First there is the mighty cockroach repellent – HIT. I wonder who came up with such an ingenious name for the product. One spray and the roach is hit. Simply brilliant.
I was in office this morning, relatively alone considering Dad is in Delhi and half our staff are following IST [Indian Stretchable that is] lately. There I was meddling around Dad’s desk to pick up some of his work, when I saw an unidentified flying object. I’ve seen that sort of shadow in flight before and I was dead sure it was the invincible flying cockroach. I’ll tell you why they are invincible – Roaches as it is have those antennae which pretty much work as radars that can sense a pelt coming from a determined broom. This makes us humans the ill-equipped lot since we are devoid of antennae. Imagine that though… I’m sure we’d be running around getting even those straightened, permed, gelled and coloured; looney lot that we are. Back to the battle with the roaches though, this shortcoming on our part allows the little exoskeleton-donning don to get away.
When these little pests take to flying, we really have lost the battle. Then they have super powers. Because no sooner are you trying to overpower them with your weapon of choice [in this case the broom] when they decide to change the rules of the game and send you out for a more effective armory. Now tell me this, what is the most effective weapon against a flying object? You do not have to answer that, it is a rhetorical question. You can fly around with newspapers and brooms but the damn thing will have to sit down for you to get it and at that point you won’t holding the right object. Alternatively, you would have to attempt to fly off chairs and tables but it is a futile attempt at achieving the purpose although a successful one at making yourself look silly.
Presently though, I followed the shadow to spot my prey. Its wings were still not tucked in, freshly landed from flight. Normally I am very brave with roaches, but the flying ones expend all my gumption and I’m left deciding whether to strike or not to strike. This is when technology came to my rescue. Thinking on my feet, I went past the cleaning lady [whose weapon of choice was a wet and therefore more unmanageable, mop stick.] to reach for my cabinet door. This roach was now against the same cabinet on the floor, at one point the roach’s head and mine were at a 90° to one another. Ooooh, it was close. Any minute the winged ding-a-ling could’ve just taken flight and killed me.
But no, I was not to be defeated that easily. Unflinching, I grabbed the door and slid it open. I grabbed the Red Can of Success aka HIT. Like a gladiator about to take on the lions, I straightened out the nozzle and aimed. SHZZZZHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It rained on the poor cockroach. But get this, it still ran. And then I ran. Then the cleaning lady ran. Well actually she just bobbled about [large mass she is, much like Tom, the cat’s owner] with her mop stick and gave up.
Few minutes later, I called a man in for the job. “FIND ME THE COCKROACH!” I said. He smiled. Doesn’t that count for insubordination? He looked under the adjacent desk, picked up a piece of paper and wrapped the dying/dead roach. What an anti-climax.
But the deed was done.
I sat down for a minute to celebrate my success and then proceeded to the wash area to wash my hands of any HIT remnants. I returned only to discover that I had no hanky or tissues.
Ah well, ya win some, ya lose some.
PS. I realised giving up Nevermind is like giving up gin. Just when you think you've got to the other side, you find yourself down half a double. I haven't had a gin in ages, but the blog I could not resist! At least for now ;)
First there is the mighty cockroach repellent – HIT. I wonder who came up with such an ingenious name for the product. One spray and the roach is hit. Simply brilliant.
I was in office this morning, relatively alone considering Dad is in Delhi and half our staff are following IST [Indian Stretchable that is] lately. There I was meddling around Dad’s desk to pick up some of his work, when I saw an unidentified flying object. I’ve seen that sort of shadow in flight before and I was dead sure it was the invincible flying cockroach. I’ll tell you why they are invincible – Roaches as it is have those antennae which pretty much work as radars that can sense a pelt coming from a determined broom. This makes us humans the ill-equipped lot since we are devoid of antennae. Imagine that though… I’m sure we’d be running around getting even those straightened, permed, gelled and coloured; looney lot that we are. Back to the battle with the roaches though, this shortcoming on our part allows the little exoskeleton-donning don to get away.
When these little pests take to flying, we really have lost the battle. Then they have super powers. Because no sooner are you trying to overpower them with your weapon of choice [in this case the broom] when they decide to change the rules of the game and send you out for a more effective armory. Now tell me this, what is the most effective weapon against a flying object? You do not have to answer that, it is a rhetorical question. You can fly around with newspapers and brooms but the damn thing will have to sit down for you to get it and at that point you won’t holding the right object. Alternatively, you would have to attempt to fly off chairs and tables but it is a futile attempt at achieving the purpose although a successful one at making yourself look silly.
Presently though, I followed the shadow to spot my prey. Its wings were still not tucked in, freshly landed from flight. Normally I am very brave with roaches, but the flying ones expend all my gumption and I’m left deciding whether to strike or not to strike. This is when technology came to my rescue. Thinking on my feet, I went past the cleaning lady [whose weapon of choice was a wet and therefore more unmanageable, mop stick.] to reach for my cabinet door. This roach was now against the same cabinet on the floor, at one point the roach’s head and mine were at a 90° to one another. Ooooh, it was close. Any minute the winged ding-a-ling could’ve just taken flight and killed me.
But no, I was not to be defeated that easily. Unflinching, I grabbed the door and slid it open. I grabbed the Red Can of Success aka HIT. Like a gladiator about to take on the lions, I straightened out the nozzle and aimed. SHZZZZHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It rained on the poor cockroach. But get this, it still ran. And then I ran. Then the cleaning lady ran. Well actually she just bobbled about [large mass she is, much like Tom, the cat’s owner] with her mop stick and gave up.
Few minutes later, I called a man in for the job. “FIND ME THE COCKROACH!” I said. He smiled. Doesn’t that count for insubordination? He looked under the adjacent desk, picked up a piece of paper and wrapped the dying/dead roach. What an anti-climax.
But the deed was done.
I sat down for a minute to celebrate my success and then proceeded to the wash area to wash my hands of any HIT remnants. I returned only to discover that I had no hanky or tissues.
Ah well, ya win some, ya lose some.
PS. I realised giving up Nevermind is like giving up gin. Just when you think you've got to the other side, you find yourself down half a double. I haven't had a gin in ages, but the blog I could not resist! At least for now ;)
. Further more, you could have an entire conversation without typing a single word!!! 
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